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All I Ever Wanted

by Oh So

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1.
Never 05:08
My message seems to cloud as it reveals And I can’t express with words the way this feels How my head and hands and heart are mystified and the way your movement leaves me petrified Never’s not the word when you let go It’s never been your way to tell me no Can you tell i never know just what to do? I’ll never have it easy; not with you I feel the breaking point is drawing near My intent now to simply disappear But my hands and lips and tongue remain adept A life ruled by obsession I accept Never’s not the word when you let go It’s never been your way to tell me no Can you tell i never know just what to do? I’ll never have it easy; not with you Can you tell I never know just what to do?
2.
Lust 04:11
A quiet morning rain A whisper on the wind again To bring the hope for something real I find the more I change The more everything stays the same Now ask yourself, how would you feel? Within the endless nights of walking Silence was my way of talking For the lack of sleep defines my lust The greatest fear inside A secret taste of the divine I seek to find my life depraved And in the absolute There is a longing here for truth But I will not ask to be saved Within the endless nights of walking Silence was my way of talking Words would just betray my reply For the lack of sleep defines my Body strong but mind unsound I love the way that we fall down Whispers fading into sighs For the lack of sleep defines my lust And so I say That I remain Still unafraid I can maintain And walk away For loss or gain To seize the day To trust in pain Can you see me reaching out? Despite the years I had to wait A single kiss to cure your doubt A touch to hold you to your fate
3.
Born, it seems, already facing yesterday Taught by life to always greet the world afraid No one ever told me that the fight would last so long Just to understand that love would always turn out wrong And the path I’ve chosen is the one from which you fly My greatest mistake was never learning to deny Everything that I have felt and all that I could be All I ever wanted was you to believe in me Hope is lost and bleeding in the aftermath Moments die beneath the gaze I feel you cast Pray to end these days, though everything is left undone It was always you that I was really running from And the path I’ve chosen is the one from which you fly My greatest mistake was never learning to deny Everything that I have felt and all that I could be All I ever wanted was you to believe in me And the winds of change have never felt so strong before Blowing in my heart, they seem to calm the rising storm Filled with expectations and intentions as you are To believe you, I must leave you
4.
Only Human 04:40
I have lived for years, by choice, entombed The world outside so different from this room Hallways shifting, all the faces change Intentions never seem to stay the same Everyone has eyes, nobody sees You’re the only one that looks at me On my knees I surrender my self helplessly I’m in chains with no wish to be free Take my hand and lead me thru the rain Only human, I am still afraid Though I give myself and feel no shame Only human, I can still feel pain I awake and find myself renewed Never felt such joy to be consumed And your thirst will never drain my cup I exist only to fill you up And my beating heart will melt the frost You are here and I’m no longer lost Can’t you see I will give you every part of me I’m in chains with no wish to be free Take my hand and lead me thru the rain Only human, I am still afraid Though I give myself and feel no shame Only human, I can still feel pain Now I walk the longest miles untamed I will never cease to feel amazed
5.
I want to know when this will change, When will we cross the line from harmless words and can’t return? I wonder if you find it strange Or like me are you driven, moving onward, no concern? Take me, take me, don’t say no And leave me lying on the floor My eyes will follow as you go Your legs move fast, your legs move so slow Do you find it frightening, how much your ways excite me? Take me, take me don’t say no Your legs move fast, your legs move oh so slow The tears trace lines across my face Upon my lips I wish that I could always keep this taste And still, a feeling I can’t place As we perspire, we expire, ever interlaced Take me, take me, don’t say no And leave me lying on the floor My eyes will follow as you go Your legs move fast, your legs move so slow And do you still adore me when I become this horny? Take me, take me don’t say no Your legs move fast, your legs move oh so slow Take me, take me, don’t say no And leave me lying on the floor My eyes will follow as you go Your legs move fast, your legs move so slow So please don’t spare my life if you must say goodbye Take me, take me don’t say no Your legs move fast, your legs move oh so slow
6.
Hearts fall forward To the feet of those that don’t believe You ask me Moving onward, and still I know Something in my mind Seems to recognize these lines It reminds me of a time when I was blue Within the seeds you sew The many things you want to show I wish you could know all of this is for you Questions of faith Declarations you refuse to hear Think of me The morning ever after, softly I am the answer You are the words I’ve left unsaid In a whisper I give myself to you Something in my mind Seems to recognize these lines It reminds me of a time when I was blue Within the seeds you sew The many things you want to show And the world is yours to give the message to I wish you could know all of this is for you
7.
8.
Define 04:25
From the start I told myself that I could change And I would learn to smile again A fact that we cannot explain Things look obscured at such short range And you would laugh one hundred times And I would never make you cry You would not lie awake at night My angry heart would not define It takes so much to look away Still I can see your eyes turn gray All things must ultimately fade And I will do it all again If it will take away the shame Know I have always been this way And all will burn inside my flame I am the only one to blame You die inside, the stars don’t shine And I will always make you cry And you will lie awake at night The sorrow in my heart defines So walk away, don’t come near me For I can only make you bleed And nothing in my soul redeems Don’t waste your time on building dreams
9.
Don’t you want to know Though your face belies the fear you’re feeling Don’t you want to know We can all see thru the lies you’re dealing Don’t you want to know That your world exists on my conditions Don’t you want to know That I’m smiling while you burn your bridges I thought you would know That I’ve grown beyond the bitter discourse I thought you would know This is all for me, I feel no remorse I thought you would know That my faith and will are self sustaining I thought you would know Patience and restraint are slowly waning And then you say Everything’s fine Yeah, it’s alright I focus too intently on the night And if I seek, I’m sure to find That it was all inside my mind Don’t you want to know? Stories all get old and interest’s fading Don’t you want to know? The veneer has cracked and mold’s invading I thought you should know I thought it only polite to mention I thought you should know Just in case you weren’t paying attention
10.
Torment 04:26
Miles to go before the night expends Every feeling I cannot defend Tempered by the light that still creeps in From where the cracks are showing Lost in ways I cannot comprehend (and wonders do contend) And as the days grow colder I cannot help falling for her Rain will wash away all reason Gladly I will disappear I’ve been Wandering through the sands of Time without her hands to Guide me to the answer Driven, I embrace the intent For I find each moment Spent apart is torment Miles across this table to your face Further still to find a soft embrace Words are strong but cannot bring you in To keep the cracks from spreading Lost, and yet in losing there is grace She never leaves me sober I cannot help falling for her Tracing lines that cling like velvet To her form, I disappear I’ve been Wandering through the sands of Time without her hands to Guide me to the answer Driven, I embrace the intent For I find each moment Spent apart is torment
11.
promises that bind broken in between the lines looking in my eyes i don’t what you hope to find for my heart is cold as ice “bury me in snow” you cry i’ve slipped out of time i don’t even know myself affection is your crime i believe in nothing else speaking clear, so full of life every reason not to try slips away along the tide “sand is all i have” you cry sometimes its too easy just to let someone inside and believe that you can hear me, that this hope is justified there is truth in what i’m saying though you may not know it now this mistake me make together we will let each other down passion tears away lies that we have lived in vain every step you take serves to steal my breath again all becoming clear at last “are these words for me?” you ask in the silence, answers lie we should not have said goodbye resting softly on the ice how your body will entice frozen, I cannot reply “bury me in snow,” you cry
12.
Hold me when the lights go out And run your fingers thru my hair For too long I have lived without This feeling is beyond compare I’ve already fallen for you To me love is but a dream And if only for a night We will discover what it means Sway beneath the falling sky I promise I won’t let you down Let candle light caress your eyes Let whispers be the only sound Can we keep the morning from our minds? Welcoming the coming storm We celebrate what we can’t see And when I am in your arms In trust I know I can believe I’ve already fallen for you To me love is but a dream And if only for a night We will discover what it means When each new feeling is taken for a sign The boundaries between us grow harder to define Perception of daylight seems to fall behind Can we keep the morning from our minds?
13.
Desire 05:00
The evening passes, in it’s wake remains a plight I can’t evade A never ending masquerade Each visage upon my face, a fallen form is soon replaced Still longing for the one I can’t embrace There is something so intoxicating in the way your body moves The give and the take quells the urge to escape My fingers are tingling, my body on fire So ill prepared to feel this desire I wander through the city in a daze It seems so strange, to feel this way And still I say, that each passing day Draws me further, and I’ll never be the same As I run to you unafraid The desperation in my voice conveys the longing that I feel A sentiment I can’t conceal Teach me with the thunder, rain; I’ll gladly bleed if in your name I’ll taste the fire, surely die by flame There is something almost holy in the way the moonlight frames your shape So fearless and sure, angelic and pure My fingers are tingling, my body on fire So ill prepared to feel this desire I wander through the city in a daze It seems so strange, to feel this way And still I say, that each passing day Draws me further, and I’ll never be the same As I run to you unafraid

about

this album was mixed to be played loud so TURN IT UP.

credits

released February 22, 2011

jj williams, bruce stocking

all songs by jj williams
except 5 by jj williams & bruce stocking
additional programming on 11 & 12 by marshall camden
8 samples Twin Peaks Season 1 Episode 3
13 samples "Holy Ghost" by In Tenebris from the album "From Blood and Water"

album layout and design by marshall camden
photography by eliza stocking/this too shall pass

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about

Oh So Charlottesville, Virginia

Oh So represents a musical exploration of the human experience. The members of Oh So desire neither fame or fortune, and as a result nothing is compromised; everything is offered to exactly as it was experienced. The ultimate goal is a sense of communion, for the boundary between listener and performer to be blurred, so that together, the idea of self is lost… or found… ... more

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